Hex Bomb
by Nic Neptune
Summary: After their defeat, Miss Pike has planted a bomb on the bus in which Cackle's are taking to Heversham High. Only activated when the speed limit drops below 60mph, it's an awkward moment for Amelia to be in the driver's seat! R&R appreciated!
1. Amelia Learns to Drive Oh Dear!

_**Hey everyone! This was originally meant to be Chapter 10 of my other story, "53 Things to Do When You're Bored in Cackle's", but the idea just developed and I decided to put it as it's own story. Thanks in advance for reading and a review would be much appreciated! ^_^ Also, I am setting up the basis for the actual story for this chapter, and I would really appreciate you coming back for Chapter 2, where the story will really take off. Thanks again! ^_^**_

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Worst Witch. The characters belong to the amazing Jill Murphy, and any additional characters belong to the writers/producers of the TV adaptation of the Worst Witch.**

**Hex Bomb:**

One may often wonder why a Witch like Amelia Cackle is Headmistress; while she is genial and powerful, witches like Constance Hardbroom may seem more appropriate for the position. Staunch traditionalist, staunch disciplinarian, economic, and powerful beyond words. It's often been questioned by visitors to Cackle's Academy, how on earth Constance Hardbroom was never made headmistress. Despite the fact that "Hardbroom's Academy" didn't have the same ring to it, there were other reasons why the fates placed Amelia as headmistress.

Constance Hardbroom was a woman who most certainly didn't like change. She hated change to such an extent that when they decided to relocate and improve Cackle's Academy, she threatened to retire! She was also a woman who would fight to get her own way, and the above example was certainly an ample form of blackmail, and she certainly got what she wanted!

Amelia Cackle, on the other hand, was a woman that was willing to embrace change, while keeping with tradition. Most Witches wouldn't be caught dead playing basketball, but for the sake of the girls, and their modern outlook on life, she allowed a basketball game with Heversham High so that the girls could alleviate their boredom for a short spell of time. It was agreed with Miss Pike, that if Cackle's girls won, that there would be a return trip. (Although, Amelia was so sure that Cackle's girls would lose, that she passed the motion of a return trip).

Amelia wasn't often selfish, but when it came to her cream cakes, the bitch in her would emerge. Cackle's could hardly arrive at Heversham High on broomsticks! They were already deemed strange from their Medieval "Science lab", bats flying through the corridors, Miss Hardbroom's infatuation with Miss Pike, Miss Bat and her cheerleaders and basketball nets made from a sanded down pieces of cardboard and a basket - yes, Frank Blossom was a man who took instructions quite literally!

So Amelia had a decision to make - crush the girls' spirits and cancel the basketball match, or the school could purchase a bus to allow them to go to Heversham High, of course, resulting in a cut to discretionary expenditure in the school's budget, meaning Miss Cackle would have to cut back on the cream cakes and other various confectionaries for a whole month. (She already failed in trying to slip confectionary purchases under the necessary expenditure). After much self-debate, she decided it would be best that the bus be purchased for the welfare of the girls. And besides, if she could somehow drive a bus through the forest and down to Cosie's Café, she could bring much more cakes home with her!

The next week, the bus was purchased. A second-hand, "hunk of junk" as the girls liked to call it. It was a bus of an undistinguishable colour; it was rust-encrusted, giving it a sandy effect, scratched giving it silver streaks throughout, generally dirty and the original paint job seemed to be white, though that was debatable. Fenella and Griselda kindly offered to paint it, but considering they were going through their graffiti phase, Miss Cackle felt that the bus was safest left as it is.

The girls were getting excited about their trip away. Any fun they'd have in school couldn't compare to the fun and banter they would have in the bus. And on the night before their trip away, tragedy struck.

While Frank, the designated bus driver was on maternity leave after the infamous geranium incident (don't ask!), the post of bus driver was thrust upon Miss Drill, the only remaining staff member who could drive. As we all know, bad things come in threes, and the second bad thing was Miss Drill spraining her ankle, so that she was unable to drive. For once, you may think "how could it get any worse?", and that the chain of bad things had broken. You were wrong. The third bad thing to happen was the worst of all. And this was:

* * *

><p>"How will we break it to the girls?" Amelia sighed, putting her face in her hands.<p>

"I warned you Amelia, that nothing good could come of this," Constance grinned, reluctantly and awkwardly taking a bite of an apple. The woman was even graceful when eating, and seemed almost mortified at having to do so.

"Surely there's another way," Davina mused, taking a bite of a pink rose that was central to the flower arrangement.

"No, Davina," Constance began, "I think an extra study period would be much more beneficial to the girls," she beamed, "rather than some sweaty sport that can only cause injury, provide incentive for cheating and is of no beneficial use anyway," she said with some disdain.

"Well if we could find another driver," Amelia stated, "we'd be able to go".

"But who, Miss Cackle?" Imogen sighed.

"Well, I was thinking that I could take up the post."

Davina nearly choked on her rose as Imogen smirked to herself, Constance even had a restrained smile. She hid it with her cup of coffee.

"Is something funny, ladies?" Amelia asked, genuinely naïve.

"Well, Miss Cackle," Davina giggled, "you've only ever flown a broomstick. I can't imagine you driving a bus!" she laughed out loud this time.

"It can't be that hard," she said softly, "I can already fly a broomstick after all. You tap it off she goes? Imogen?"

"Well if you insist, headmistress, I can try and teach you."

"Yes, Imogen! That would be wonderful!"

* * *

><p>That awkward moment when Amelia Cackle is learning how to drive. The whole escapade gave disastrous a new meaning. She was utterly hopeless. Imogen knew she was in for it - thinking the gear stick would steer the bus like a joystick was clearly a bad start.<p>

Imogen was borderline smashing her face repeatedly against the dashboard.

"No, try again, headmistress," she sighed.

"So these are the….the pedals," she guessed, Imogen's feigned smile signalled a yes, "and they drive the car?"

"Yes, Miss Cackle," she replied.

"So what's all this palaver with finding a driver if the pedals will drive the bus for us?" she asked.

"No, Miss Cackle, you drive the car. You see, you hold down the accelerator with your right foot, and you gently release the clutch at the same time. Just give it a try in neutral."

"Alright, Imogen, I'll have a go," Amelia stated. She gently pressed the accelerator, revving up the engine, as she released her grip on the wheel.

"What are you doing, Amelia?" Imogen enquired, totally mystified by the headmistress's strange new methods of driving.

"You told me to release the clutch, didn't you? I let go of the wheel. Did I do it too slowly?"

"No, Miss Cackle," Imogen began, turning red, "the clutch is the pedal to the far left," she began, pointing it out to the clueless woman, "you gently release it with your left foot, and gently press down the accelerator at the same time, with your right foot. It takes practice so give it a go in neutral," she explained.

Amelia did just that and it revved a little high. Imogen was relieved that the woman was finally starting to get it - they were only at it for three and a half hours!

"Just press a little more gently on the accelerator, Amelia," Imogen explained. She did so and it seemed okay. Imogen finally smiled, taking a sigh of relief as she slumped back into the tattered seat. _Thank Christ!_ thought the P.E. teacher as she wiped a little sweat from her upper left temple. She sat up straight, putting on her seatbelt.

"Now try it in first gear, Amelia," she said. Before Amelia even had to ask, "you hold down the clutch and pull the gear stick to the left and then up."

"Ah yes, I remember now," she said, doing it at once. It seemed as if she was catching on.

She managed to successfully put the bus into first gear and slowly tried to take off. The bus took off alright! Like Roadrunner to be more precise, down the courtyard. She slammed the break upon hearing an inhumane scream. She and Imogen ran from the bus and found a crying Davina balling her eyes out on the ground.

"Davina, dear, are you alright?" Amelia asked, her eyes and voice filled with concern, thinking the Chanting Mistress had been injured.

"It's dead! It's dead! Oh, Sarah! I'm so sorry!" she cried. Imogen and Amelia quickly looked under the wheel, expecting to see some sort of animal, instead, seeing the stem of a crushed Daffodil. They sighed deeply, exchanging a sheepish glance before once again entering the castle.

* * *

><p>The excessively tall team of Heversham High were training, when Miss Pike entered. The girls all stopped playing at once and watched their rigid, straight-backed coach walk over to the sideline. Everyone continued to stare, in utter awe. Dolorous, the captain, jogged over to her coach, and was followed by the rest of the team. They seemed tentative around her, as if something was wrong.<p>

"Wel….welcome back, Miss Pike," Dolorous uttered nervously, not wanting to ruffle her feathers.

"Thank you, Dolorous," she replied stiffly, eying up the team, "I'm glad too hear that you have regained your respectable winning streak," she told them monotonously, in that strangely perverse tone she was noted for, that intimidated everyone around her.

"Thank….thank you, Miss Pike," Dolorous replied, "we've been training extra-hard to make sure that we beat those Cackle cheats this time," she smiled shyly.

Miss Pike smiled wryly, staring enigmatically into space, "I wouldn't worry about your winning streak, girls. I don't think the Cackle's girls will be able to play today. Not by the time I've finished with them," she grinned.

"What do you mean?" asked Dolorous, thinking she'd some new game strategy for them.

Without moving a muscle, or even blinking, her grin seemed to grow, "let's just say that I've made reservations so that Cackle's won't be able to…arrive," she said, seeming almost psychotic. The team knew that it may be time to back off, before she made them run ten laps of the court for laziness.

"Do you want us to keep practicing, Miss?" Dolorous asked.

No answer, the enigma of Miss Pike was in her own world. Dolorous nodded at the rest of the team, who resumed practicing their drills.

Miss Pike certainly had very interesting plans in store as a revenge for their trashing from Cackle's in the former match. It would certainly be one day that Cackle's students and teachers wouldn't forget for a very long time to come, if ever.


	2. Fail to the Bus Driver

_**Thank you so much for the kind reviews so far, and to keep them coming would be very much appreciated! =) I'd like to thank Princess Sammi for the memorial idea so thanks hun! =) And a thank you to Chrissiemusa for reviewing. I can't reply so I'll say my thank you here. Much appreciated. ^_^**_

**Mini-Disclaimer: I stole a line from the epic "Clueless" and you'll probably pick up on it. ;)**

**Chapter 2: **

**Fail to the Bus Driver:**

Everything in Cackle's Academy seemed destined for disaster. The prospect of a new school was turned down over a certain Potions Mistress who shall not be named; punishing Mildred by giving her a coloured cat only proved to make it more special to her; Miss Bat's trip to Mongolia proved to be tearing down the school and a simple deal with Heversham High proved to be more trouble than it was worth. The purchase of the bus even caused the death of one of Cackle's well-loved residents: Sarah the daffodil.

"Sarah was a good daffodil," Davina began, standing on the stage, looking mournful, "Sarah was a kind daffodil," Davina added, turning to the dead daffodil which was laid out on a table, draped with a white tablecloth, taking centre stage. "Sarah was the kind of daffodil that wanted the best for everyone. She wanted everyone to be happy, and we all loved her." Davina closed her eyes, in thought for a few moments.

"_We bid you farewell! We bid you farewell from Cackle's Academy! Behold her honour! We humbly offer our deepest sympathies!" _she sang, in the traditional Cackle's verse of "We Bid You Welcome".

"I would just like to say, that Sarah was the dearest daffodil in the world…and she will be missed," she stated, sighing. "Now mourners, if you wouldn't mind accompanying me outside, I will bury Sarah under an Oak Tree in the forest. It may take some time, as I don't want any of the other daffodils to see her and get upset. All rise," Davina said, as she placed Sarah into a mini-coffin, about the size of a box of after eights (it was in fact previously a box of After Eights that she stole from Amelia's room).

"Miss Hardbroom, I asked you to all stand," Davina stated assertively.

"Is this really necessary, Miss Bat?" asked Constance, the only person sitting there. She took her usual seat in the front row, amongst a school full of vacant seats.

"It is, Constance HARDbroom! Sarah was a valuable member of the school community. If you didn't want to be here, then why didn't you go with the rest?"

"I'm only here because you insisted and I didn't go with Amelia and Imogen because I refuse to take such an abhorrent, non-traditional, modern method of travelling. It could only lead to trouble and I told Miss Cackle this before she left. I will be flying there soon and I suggest you hurry up with this escapade, otherwise you'll be late."

"Don't bother coming, Miss Hardbroom, because Sarah's parents wouldn't want someone as disrespectful as you there!" Davina grabbed the box and stormed out - mostly due to the fact that there was no cupboard for her to crawl into and hide. Constance sighed, standing up before she dematerialized.

Despite picking up the basic rudiments of driving, Amelia Cackle was beyond useless. She could not drive in a straight line…at all. Fortunately, the trees in the forest brought the bus to a stop before she could pick up speed and cause a major amount of damage. However, the same could not be said for her driving in London.

Since starting to drive, Amelia Cackle had managed to kill Sarah the daffodil, two trees, a man's business (she rolled over his hotdog stand) and everyone's' spirit. Bumper-to-bumper traffic was usually a bad thing by everyone's perspective, but if it would stop Amelia driving in great bursts, then that's what was required. But no such luck in this suburb of a city. Amelia was bursting down the road like a bullet just shot from a gun, and she showed no signs of stopping, even nearly knocking over the poor old lady who was trying to cross the road. There was nothing wrong with her hips when she dived out of the bus's way – but the same can't be said for after the incident.

"Amelia, slow down!" Imogen exclaimed, worried for her and the girls' lives. Michael Schumacher would even be challenged challenging this mad hatter to a race! A siren or some kind of forewarning would've come in very handy at that point.

"How!"

"Hit the-look out!"

Amelia swerved from a street pole, only to smash the bus on the side of someone's car, knocking off the side mirror, creating a huge dent in the door and breaking the window. The bus had now added black paint amongst its other colours. Amelia sped off so quickly that the blaring car alarm was soon out of earshot. The police had attempted chasing them but couldn't keep up with them.

"Oh dear, should I leave a note?" asked Amelia, swerving the wheel erratically and trying to slow down the bus. Imogen had her face in her hands and was shaking her head.

"Take the next left, Amelia," she sighed, drinking a discreet shot of scotch. She bloody needed it!

"But isn't that taking us through the busiest part of the city, Imogen?"

"Yes, Headmistress. Given the current circumstances I think it would be safer if you could only drive an inch at a time."

The girls were nearly falling asleep as the traffic was chaotic. For once, Amelia wasn't hitting anything! As the saying goes, "the idle mind is the devil's workshop", and the girls went into gossiping mode to pass the time.

"Is it true about Miss Pike?" asked Enid, turning around to the rest of her friends. Enid was next to Imogen, Mildred and Maud on the row behind, and in the next row sat Jadu and Ruby.

"It certainly is," Griselda replied, from the row at the other side of the bus, on parallel with Mildred and Maud.

"What happened?" Mildred demanded, always the last to know anything. It wasn't that she was the last to be told, just that it took quite a long time to sink in! Let's face it, her mind must've been muddled if even Davina Bat was able to fly a broomstick and she couldn't. Miss Cackle in a driver's seat was like Mildred on a broomstick – a disastrous combination and should be avoided at all times, and nearly always resulted in injury.

"Let's just say she was a little….different after she left Cackle's," Fenella grinned, "and they say she was institutionalized," added Griselda.

"Really?" exclaimed Mildred.

"Extreme!" added Maud.

"Why?"

"Well apparently, after our game, she was different," Griselda explained, "she was speaking gibberish at times, and often to herself," Fenella added, "along with the fact that she made the girls train like all the time, even though she'd never turn up," Griselda took over again, "never stopping…even at night," Fenella interjected again, "but the other teachers wouldn't stand for it and they called in help," Griselda grinned, "and once she wouldn't eat anything round because they reminded her of basketballs," Fenella started, "they sent her to a mad-people home and she's just gotten out," Griselda finished.

"Wow," Enid mused, "we really must knock the stuffing out of them this time and she how she is after," she grinned, formulating a plan.

"Stop it girls," Imogen scolded, turning around to them, "how would you like it if Miss Pike started spreading rumours around about you?" she asked, "I bet you wouldn't like it, would you?"

"No, Miss Drill," they chorused, pretending to be sorry. Imogen smiled to herself, as she felt as if she really accomplished something.

"But is it true, Miss?" Enid enthused, bursting Imogen's bubble.

"It's true that Miss Pike took some time off after her game with Cackle's," Imogen began, "but that's no excuse for idle speculation and gossip," she added sternly.

"I can't wait to see what she's like this time!" Enid stated again, the other girls giggling.

"There is to be no cheating whatsoever in this game, girls," Imogen gravely told them, "if there is, Miss Hardbroom has promised that she will set out detention to the girls responsible," she added, looking at each of them sternly to show that she meant it.

"But Miss Drill," Enid began.

"No, Enid, I mean it. No cheating. Even if they bend the rules a little, you'll feel better about winning if you know you earned it. And if you lose, then you'll feel better because you'll know that you'll have tried your best."

"Not bloody likely," remarked Enid, scoffing a little.

"Watch your language, Enid Nightshade," Imogen said, "would you really speak like that if Miss Hardbroom was on the bus?"

"Yes, Miss," Enid replied over-enthusiastically, with a hint of sarcasm. She sighed, turning back the proper way in her seat.

"Are Constance and Davina coming?" Imogen asked Amelia.

"Miss Hardbroom didn't feel like taking a bus ride," Amelia began, struggling to change gear, "so she'll be flying over shortly," she added, "and Davina will be on later as well. She wanted to stay behind for a memorial service and funeral for Sarah," she informed her. Off Imogen's look, she added, "the daffodil I rolled over."

"Ah," Imogen mused, wishing she had the luxury of flying a broom, to avoid driving with Amelia.

"Why didn't Constance want to come with us, Miss?" asked Mildred.

"You know how much of a traditionalist Constance is," Amelia replied, "and she felt that it was very un-witch like, and non-traditional to take a mode of transport involving wheels, so she decided to fly over. She insisted that transport on a bus could come to no good," she informed her.

"Can we get pizzas on the way back if we win?" asked Enid.

"I'm afraid not, girls," Amelia replied, "That's why we told you to bring packed lunches. You did get those from Mrs. Tapioca, didn't you?"

"Yes, Miss. Cold beans, stale bread with semolina surprise for desert," moaned Enid. "But there's a place, Miss Cackle, on the way back. It's called 'Supercheese'. They sell cheesecakes, cauliflower cheese, cheese soufflés, cheese scones, cheese fries, blocks of cheese and pizzas with only a cheese topping," Enid grinned, taking advantage of Amelia's addiction.

"Now that I think about it, you are growing girls and after such exercise you do deserve something substantial to eat," she invented as she spoke, "so yes, we can go," she smiled a cheesy smile, thinking about all the cheese she was going to eat later that day.

As Constance was readying herself to leave, putting on her hat and cloak, the phone rang. She would've ignored it under normal circumstances, but Amelia insisted upon contact between them in the event of any problems. That's why Cackle's had gotten a phone in the first place. Constance had her fill of it when a man called asking if they liked "big wands", and upon realising that he wasn't actually talking about wands, Constance hung up immediately and vowed that she was never using the phone again, as it was a "preposterous invention that only offered incentive for abuse and invited nuisance offers that could normally be torn up and not even looked at, had it been delivered by mail". Though since Amelia and essentially the rest of the school were out under dangerous conditions, she felt she had no choice but to answer it.

She picked up the phone and looked at it in disdain, before gracefully placing it near her ear.

"Good day, Cackle's Academy, Deputy Head Constance Hardbroom speaking, how may I help you?"

"Hello, Hardboom," replied the chilling, perverse tone of Miss Pike. Although not recognising the voice immediately, she concluded that it was Miss Pike as the last person to call her Hardboom was a member of the male of the species, who was under the false impression that he was in with a chance. Needles to say, by the time she finished with him, no man ever made advances towards her again.

"Good day, Miss Pike. Are you calling in regards to the game between your school and ours?"

"I've put a bomb on the bus. And if Amelia exceeds sixty miles per hour in speed, the moment she falls beneath it - boom!"

"It's Hard_broom_," she corrected her.

"No, the bomb will go BOOM!" she exclaimed on the other end of the phone. There was a chilling silence for a few seconds before Miss Pike hung up the phone. Constance sighed, "I tried telling her that cheese cakes would become a problem and I was right…then I tell her that driving a bus could come to no good and…I was right."

_**Thanks for reading and reviews are much appreciated! Hope you enjoyed it! I'll update soon. =) xXx**_


	3. Cheese and Whiskers!

_**Hello everyone! I'd like to offer my deepest apologies for the late update, but I'm in Leaving Cert this year (Irish equivalent to English A - Levels or American Finals) and when I say I am snowed under with work, I mean it. I'd like to thank everyone again for such amazing reviews and they inspired me to get on and update so thank you. =) Hope you enjoy this, and thanks again! **_

_**Quick note: I changed the 60kmh in past chapters to 60mph for more speed and a more dire situation. =P**_

**Chapter 3:**

**Boom!**

Police officers are never around when you want them, are they? Either someone is drink-driving or speeding, and they are only there to clock your speed when you go over one mile an hour over the limit. The same goes for dance agents. They were around for Davina's concert, the "Dying Duck" (she felt that swans got too much attention), but they were not around for Davina's spinning, wailing and gyrating around the staffroom.

"They're going to die!" screamed Davina, as she stamped with alternating feet on the chair.

"No, Miss Bat, they will not," spoke Constance coolly, placing one hand on her hip.

"But I never got to tell Miss Cackle that I was the one who took a bite out of her cheesecake last April Fool's Day!"

"That was you? I hope you understand that our jobs were on the line, Davina, down to your impertinence and trivial stupidity."

"And I never got to tell Miss Drill that I love her Dick-"

"What?"

"Van Dyke Box set!"

"Well I hardly see how jumping up and down like a bald-headed, dying monkey is going to help, do you Miss Bat?"

"Rucksack! Flip-flops! Aaaah!" she sang (or shrieked being the more operative word).

"Miss Bat, get down at once!" Constance ordered, her shrill snap stunned the room, even causing the glasses to jingle off one another. Davina, knowing when not to oppose Constance Hardbroom (which, technically speaking, was 99% of the time) got down from the table and started eating from the vase of freshly-picked flowers.

"What have I told you about eating flowers, Miss Bat?" exclaimed the peeved deputy head, "we've got other more grave concerns!"

"Grave! They'll all be dead!" she cried again, hugging Constance.

"Really, Miss Bat? I see no need for over-familiarity, even amidst the stems of calamity!" Constance exclaimed, while she guided her away from her person. She then turned and began putting on her hat and cloak.

"All we need do is fly beside the bus and tell Miss Cackle not to go over sixty. She will then sharply halt the bus and we will fly, as graceful Witches, through the sky to Heversham High. Let us away, Miss Bat."

* * *

><p>"My cat has a first name! It's Cauliflower Cheese!" sang Amelia as she hit a drum beat on the faded black steering wheel.<p>

"We're going to be late, Miss Drill!" moaned Enid, tossing back into her seat.

"Do you want me to drive?" asked Mildred, softly, "my Mum thought me over the Summer," she added, with a sweet innocence.

"No!" exclaimed Imogen and Amelia immediately. Mildred, bemused more than insulted, returned her gaze to the countryside that passed quickly by outside the window.

"I couldn't image you driving anyway," sneered Ethel. "I know," added Drusilla, "she'd probably end up crashing and getting us all killed". The pair chuckled between each other.

"At least you'd be here when it'd happen anyway," Enid replied at her friend's defence.

Ethel and Drusilla both glared at her seethingly.

* * *

><p>Constance is standing at the edge of the window, holding her outstretched arm out to its capacity.<p>

"Just grab onto my hand, Davina!" Constance called, unamused by the Senior member of staff who was hanging from her broom like a badly-trained monkey.

"Oh goodness gracious!" bellowed Davina, "I'm going to meet them in heaven! With the angels! Marilyn Monroe! My Mother and six Fathers! The Cookie Monster! Oh, Constance! Why couldn't you just appear there out of nowhere like you always do?"

Constance paused. Yes, it was an awkward moment when Davina Bat came up with a better idea than you. It was even more awkward when she, alone, came up with an idea that you failed to even begin formulating. Yes, Davina Bat had managed to come up with an idea. That, Ladies and Gentlemen, is what we call, an accident.

Constance cast a spell on Davina, who sprung in the window. Constance grabbed Davina and the pair dematerialized.

* * *

><p>Constance and Davina materialized in the centre of the bus. A few girls jumped, startled by their sudden appearance.<p>

"You're all going to die!" screamed Davina, jumping up and down on one of the vacant seats.

"Death! Bomb! Boom! Explosion!"

"Do sit down, Miss Bat!" barked Constance. The feeble chanting mistress curled up in a foetal position on one of the inside seats. Constance, sighing deeply, swept to the top of the bus.

"Constance!" beamed Amelia, smiling heartily, "you came!" she added, "what's wrong with Miss Bat? Still upset over Sarah, is she?"

As Constance spoke, the bus's revs began to make a very high-pitched sound and everything was inaudible.

"Miss Pike has put a bomb on the bus and if we exceed sixty miles per hour in speed, it will arm it and detonate if we should fall below that speed."

"Just let me speed up to change gear and I will be able to hear you, Constance!"

Amelia did just that, and the bus rapidly and gradually increased speed. The speedometer dial just lingered over sixty, threatening to fall below it.

"Now what was it you were saying, Constance?"

"I said that there's a bomb on the bus and it will be armed once you exceed sixty miles per hour. To go below that speed would certainly cause calamity as it would blow up the bus."

"Cheese and whiskers!" exclaimed Amelia, looking horrified.

"I'm a clever, clever rat!" sang Davina in response.

"What's wrong, Miss?" asked Enid.

"Nothing that concerns you, Enid," replied Amelia.

"Well we're out of town and in the great outdoors so just don't stop driving until we come up with a plan," suggested Imogen.

"I had a cousin once who got the stem of a rose stuck up his nose, and it took forever for the Doctor to get it out," Davina stated proudly as she started looking out the front window and waving out at some trees.

"And what's that got to do with anything?" exclaimed Constance.

"Why, what were you talking about?" asked Davina sweetly.

"The bomb on the bus!" snapped Constance.

"There's a bomb on the bus?" exclaimed Enid.

"What bomb?" shrieked Maud.

"Miss Hardbroom, is there a bomb on the bus?" asked Mildred.

"No girls," replied Constance cooly, calmly and collectively, wishing to maintain confidence to control the situation., "we were merely talking about-"

"Yes!" screeched Davina, "and it's going to kill us all dead!" she wailed.

Constance and Amelia sighed, exchanging a sheepish glance as girls begin to shout around the bus.

"I don't think I can keep this up, Constance," Amelia said shakily, with the speedometer creeping back towards the sixty line.

"You have to headmistress," ascertained Constance, "or we'll all die!" screamed Davina.

"Miss Cackle, I may only be Deputy Head of Cackle's Academy, but I strictly forbid you to slow this bus down!"

"I've got just the idea," Davina stepped in, casting a charm which made a large cheesecake appear hanging from the bus in front of the windscreen. Amelia gasped, trying to reach it, even speeding up to do so.

"I never thought I would say this to you Imogen," Constance began, kneeling next to her, "but I feel this is a good a time as any," she added tenderly.

"Yes, Constance?" smiled Imogen, blushing a tad, and almost forgetting about the rest of the world around her.

"Imogen, with the absence of an able-minded Witch, I must…..well I must do something with you at which I have been a virgin with until now."

"Me too, Constance," smiled Imogen.

"We must….'co-operate' together, in order to formulate a plan to get us out of this situation."

"Oh," replied Imogen, disappointed, and turning pale, "is that all?"

"Why, yes. What's the matter, Miss Drill? I dare say you look as if you've been slapped in the face with a wet fish."

"That's just it, I won't be."

"To what are you implying, Miss Drill? Do you wish for me to hit you?"

"Hit me baby, one more time!" sang Davina, jumping up and down and spinning around. "But that's just it," she added, crying, "it will only be one more time because we're all going to die!" she cried.

"Oh, for goodness sake!" exclaimed Constance, "the only way to make this situation even worse is if Mistress Broomhead arrived for an inspection."

"Constance!" wailed the shrill tone of Heckety Broomhead. Constance jumped and flinched in utter horror. She turned paler than pale.

"M…Mistress Broomhead!" she struggled to say, "to what are…what is….I…uh…what are you doing here?" asked Constance.

"An inspection, of course! Why else would I be here? For any other reason would be wasting time! Now," she began, taking out a notebook and starting to write, "this bus is a shambles! No seatbelts, don't even think about calling those ropes seatbelts and where are your student seating plans?"

"We….we didn't make any…Mistress Broomhead."

"Constance, what have I told you about documents? A school is nothing without documents! The documents are even more important than the students. And why are you exceeding the limit? Slow down!"

"Well, I'm afraid we cannot do that, Mistress Broomhead," began Constance.

"Do I take it that you are disobeying my orders, Constance?" Heckety asked in a deeper tone. Constance took a step back, this is when Heckety was at her most dangerous, and all knew not to mess with her during this time. However, she would be truly disobeyed now.

"The hills are alive, with the sound of music!" sang Davina, dancing like Julie Andrews, "but we won't be alive! Mistress Broomhead, leave at once if you do not wish to die! For your arms and legs and feet and fingers to be thrust from each other and be spread in a bloody mess all over the road for the bats to feed upon!"

"Bats?" she exclaimed. "And why is there a cheesecake hanging outside the window? Surely you weren't going to feed the girls that?" she exclaimed, "think of the compensation we would have to pay, should a girl be taken ill from eating such a luxurious food now-filled with bacteria! I am disposing of it!"

She cast a spell, making the cheesecake disappear.

" Mistress Broomhead," began Constance, "we need the cheesecake there to keep Miss Cackle driving quickly because there is a bomb on the bus and should we fall below sixty miles per hour-"

"BOOM!" exclaimed Davina.

"What, Constance?"

"The bomb would-"

"BOOM!" exclaimed Davina again.

"Shut up, Bat woman!" snapped Heckety.

"The bomb will explode, Mistress Broomhead!" snapped Constance, getting rather riled given the calamity of the current situation.

"Well why would you put a bomb on the bus? I am taking that down on my notes," she disapproved, writing quickly in her notebook, "bomb…put…in….the…bus…" she mused as she wrote, "…could…potentially…cause…death…of…students…" she finished, "well this isn't on at all, Constance! Who's idea was this?"

"Look, Mistress Broomhead, a bat!" exclaimed Fenella and Griselda in unison, as they transformed many of the maggots in the corners of the bus to bats.

"I DON'T LIKE BATS!" she exclaimed, dematerializing in a puff of smoke.

"Yes….thank you…Fenella and Griselda…" Constance reluctantly said, running back up to Amelia.

"Miss Cackle, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that the city in front of us?" Constance asked.

"Cheese and whiskers!" exclaimed Amelia.

"Shock, shock, horror, horror, shock, shock, horror!" sang Davina.

"Miss Cackle, look out!"

Amelia, who was about to drive into a funeral, cast a spell as she drove which lifted the bus from the ground and the flew over the funeral like Harry and Ron did in Harry Potter. However, the tail-end of the bus caught the coffin and knocked it out of the gentleman's hands. The coffin rolled on the ground and Elmo fell out of the coffin.

"Not Elmo! When will there be justice?" cried Davina, trying to run out of the back of the bus but clattered against the window. It is here, I should add, that the girls decided to name her "Bonkers Bat".

Back to Amelia, she was not doing much better. In fact, she was heading straight for an open trailer connected to the back of the lorry.

"Miss Cackle, look out!" Imogen exclaimed.

Amelia didn't react on time and the bus drove straight onto the ramp and onto the back of the lorry. She slammed the breaks. The bus came to a sudden halt. And everything went black.

...

...

...

_**Thank you for reading and I'll update soon (I promise I will be prompt this time. I've made time each evening for writing). Thanks! xXx**_


	4. Heversham High

_**I am so sorry for the late update! I hade mock exams last week, and I'd to spend most of my time studying for them. That, along with the building work that was been done in the house, just meant I'd no extra time. Much apologies and I hope you enjoy this chapter! Thanks in advance for reading. xD **_

**Chapter 4: **

**Heversham High:**

The bus lay still. Nobody moved a muscle. The first to make a move was Davina, who started jumping up and down and wailing eccentrically.

"Blood! Blood!" she screamed, splashing in a pool of thick red fluid.

"What. Was. That?" Constance uttered, looking around the multi-coloured bus. It was now covered in every colour paint that ever existed - as were the teachers and students who occupied it.

"If I am correct, Constance," began Amelia, "a paint bomb".

"You mean to say that we have had all this trouble over a paint bomb!" she snapped.

"Well we certainly can't turn up at Heversham High looking like this."

"I don't know why you didn't just make the bomb disappear," Davina ruminated.

"Well it's a little late for ideas now, Davina!" Constance retorted.

"I'll be back in a moment," Constance informed them after a short pause, as she quickly stepped out of the bus. As she stampeded her way thorugh the street, people couldn't help but stare at the tall rainbow who looked rather out-of-place wearing a witch's hat.

"What's she doing?" whispered Enid.

Constance could be seen picking up a phone from the phone box and casting a spell on it before she gracefully placed it to her ear. She looked rather a sight flailing her arms about and giving out like the clackers.

"I haven't seen Miss Hardbroom this angry since she saw my last cheesecake bill," the headmistress gently proclaimed.

Constance, after a swift rant and trek back to the bus, entered with an uncharacteristically red twinge on her face (and no, it wasn't paint!) Amelia, the staff and the pupils stared at her - dumbfounded.

"Well she should have specified that it was a paint bomb!" she snapped.

"I think we should set about returning to the Academy. But before that, Supercheese, wasn't it, Enid?"

"Your cheesecakes will have to wait, Headmistress."

"Why?" Amelia asked, her childish voice filled with dire concern.

"We have a match to win," she announced proudly, "and forget fair play, girls, the academy's honour is at stake." The girls responded in a chorus of "yay!"

"Are you feeling alright, Miss Hardbroom?" Amelia hesitated.

"Perfectly fine, Miss Cackle. Nobody calls me 'Hardboom' and thinks theycan deter me and get away with it."

"Here, here!" bellowed Davina.

"I don't think Doctor Foster would mind a little magical intervention, do you Constance?"

* * *

><p>"Hail to the bus driver! Bus driver! Bus driver! Hail to the bus driver! Bus driver! Man!" sang Davina, "She eats lots of cheesecakes! More than Mrs. Cosie can make!" sang Enid in response.<p>

"Quiet Enid Nightshade," Constance warned.

"Well done, Enid, that was very enterprising," clapped Davina.

"Miss Bat, we've warned you about encouraging the girls. You remember what happened the last time you allowed the girls to write a song."

"It wasn't our fault," Griselda inserted, "yes, we didn't ask MTV to shoot a video for us," concluded Fenella.

"Appalling," Amelia mused.

"Look! It's Heversham High!" Davina exclaimed excitedly, jumping up and down on the spot.

"No, Miss Bat, that's a tree."

The girls chuckled amongst themselves.

"You're very quiet, Miss Drill," Davina smiled, turning around to an empty seat. "Where's Miss Drill?"

* * *

><p>Imogen was standing near the lorry that Amelia drove onto the back of. She yawned as she confusedly looked at her watch.<p>

* * *

><p>"I don't know. Have any of you seen Miss Drill?" Constance inquired.<p>

"You left without her," Enid answered promptly.

"And you didn't consider telling us because…?"

"I wanted to see what would happen."

"Enid Nightshade, you will write out five hundred times 'I must inform teachers when a student or teacher isn't present.' Have I made myself clear?"

"Am I to write out that last part as well?"

"And that cheek has gotten you an extra five hundred lines. And Mildred Hubble, 'I must not teach, nor encourage, my classmates to back answer any member of staff.' two hundred lines for tomorrow morning."

"But Miss Hardbroom!" she began until Constance gave her 'the look'. She sighed glumly, piping down as any further intervention would only prove her to be correct.

"Aren't we going back for Imogen?" Davina asked.

"It would make us rather late," Constance suggested.

"But we can't just leave her behind!" wailed Davina.

"She's right, Constance. You can just bring her here, can't you?"

"It's too risqué, Miss Cackle. We know what happened the last time I used magic to rescue Imogen."

"Ah, yes. The duck incident."

"It wouldn't have been so serious had Miss Bat not gotten them all pregnant."

"It was a hot day and things became rather confused!" snapped Davina.

"I think we could allow the benefit of the doubt just this once. Don't you, Constance?"

"Very well, Headmistress," she sighed as she dematerialized.

* * *

><p>"We're very sorry, Imogen, that you were left behind," Amelia condoled, patting her hand gently, "but given the current calamity it was a minor oversight."<p>

"Yes, it's nothing to do with you being the only non-witch member of staff," Davina inserted.

Constance and Amelia shared "the look".

"I understand".

"Imogen, please don't be so dismissive. I hope you realise that you are of great importance to us and the girls."

"Yes, the time we forgot to bring you on the trip to Cosie's was an accident too."

Imogen sighed.

* * *

><p>"Paint bomb! Paint bomb! It was a paint bomb! I will be your canvas that you can paint on!"<p>

"Please cease making that infernal racket, Davina."

"Tom Jones is not infernal racket!"

"And not to mention the fact that you are singing incorrect lyrics."

There was an awkward pause. Awkward because Constance actually knew a song and had turned in long enough to learn the lyrics and very awkward as the 'dreaded 's' word' was privy to her knowledge. Needless to say, it was Icy Stephens that introduced the track to her.

"Let's talk about something else," Amelia cheerily intervened.

"Are we there yet, Miss?" asked Mildred.

"No, we don't seem to be," Amelia replied, "when should we be arriving there, Imogen?"

"Ten minutes ago," Enid informed them.

"See!" teased Davina, "I told you we passed Heversham High! And to think you thought it was a tree," she giggled.

"It was a tree, Miss Bat," stated Enid, "we passed it five minutes before that."

"Well sometimes it takes me a while to realise things," she softly replied.

"We've noticed," Constance answered, "any of you didn't think to inform us of our being there?"

"No Miss," Enid smiled sweetly.

* * *

><p>The wreck of a bus struggled own Heversham High's drive and towards the school. A bemused Miss Pike smirked wryly as she watched the bus. The basketball team soon followed.<p>

"I thought you said the Cackle's girls wouldn't make it?" Dolorous inquired.

"Indeed, I was wrong," she replied, her eyes filled with excited contempt.

The bus door was yanked of it's hinges by Amelia. Everyone flinched as it landed with a crushing clambering crash on the concrete. Amelia looked up at Constance guiltily, who was shaking her disapproving head. Amelia stumbled out of the bus, and rapidly confronted the amused Miss Pike.

"Really, Miss Pike," began Amelia, "I really see no need for such immature behaviour! After all, it is only a friendly game!"

"Basketball is not just a game, Crackle. It t is a test of the physical strength, a need that must be filled! A-"

"Oh, do drop it, Miss Dyke!" snapped Constance. "See!" she exclaimed, turning to Davina, "I pronounced her name incorrectly as you prompted me to do!"

Miss Pike scoffed angrily as she stormed with her team back into the building. It was only then that Constance became aware of her chuckling students and colleagues.

"What?"

"That name that you called her," began Amelia, quietening her tone and stepping closer to her, "wasn't very politically correct."

"What does it mean?"

Amelia whispered something into her ear. Constance's curious expression quickly turned bemused.

"Oh, like Miss Drill!" she exclaimed. Amelia, shaking her head, turned to Imogen who herself turned towards the girls, blushing deeply.

"Head on in, girls!" she ordered, changing the subject, "I'll be in after I fix my balls on the bus." The girls grinned at each other as they excitedly made their way inside.

"And to think people call 'me' slow," Davina scolded as she started in after the girls.

_**That's it for this chapter. Hope you enjoyed it! Reviews appreciated! Thanks! ^_^**_


	5. It's On!

**Chapter 5:**

**It's On!**

"Appalling," Amelia commented as she disdainfully ate a sugar-laden donut in the Heversham High guest staffroom. It was much different from Cackle's staffroom. The floor was clinical-looking with black and white square tiles, with large vermilion sumptuous drapes overhanging the large bay windows. The staff were seated at a long mahogany table, made of the finest quality wood. The rest of the furniture was luxurious and looked unbelievably expensive. The Cackle's staff seemed a little on edge in such bright, plush conditions.

"I know," agreed Constance, "surely there was no need to keep us out of the staffroom and degrade us to the guest suite," she added in disdain, as she took a small sip of tea from a hand-painted china cup.

"Not that! These donuts have no jam in them!"

Imogen hid her smirk behind a sports magazine while Constance sighed and shook her head censoriously.

"Where are the girls?" asked Davina, opening a nearby cupboard and sizing it up. She struggled with the huge, heavy doors. They were like something from Buckingham Palace compared to the wreck back in the academy, that constantly gave her splinters (which only resulted in longer spells in the cupboard).

"Practicing in the gym. I hope they didn't take today's events too personally. It was all rather a shock."

Davina kept opening and closing the door dramatically, much to the bemusement of the rest of the staff.

"What are you doing, Miss Bat?" pontificated Constance. Davina didn't answer, as she was trying to step into the cupboard. She appeared to be a little too tall. The cupboard was scrupulously-kept, with labels of an alphabetical nature placed on the linear shelves. The books and folders were kept very tidily.

"Really, Miss Bat? We are on public premises and I do insist that you step away from that cupboard at once!"

"Leave it, Constance. We don't want her putting on a show in front of Miss Pike, now do we?"

The quaint deputy head hesitantly relaxed herself in her chair, restraining herself. A shooting glare from Amelia stopped her from retaliating after a few short moments. She sighed, taking another small sip of tea.

* * *

><p>"Now girls," began Imogen, as the girls huddled around her closely, "I know we had a rather colourful trip here, but I don't think that condones cheating any sort. Have I made myself clear?"<p>

"No way!" sneered Enid, "if Miss Dyke thinks she can paint us and get away with it then she's got another thing coming!"

"Enid!"

"What? Miss Hardbroom said it!"

"Yes, Enid, and it's only okay when Miss Hardbroom says it. Now girls, I want you to play a fair game, and have some fun."

She looked at them all intently before practicing a few drills herself.

"What are the teachers doing?" Enid enquired.

* * *

><p>Amelia approached the Heversham High team, carrying a tray of small pieces of cheese, with mini-sticks sticking out of each piece.<p>

"Would anyone care for a cheesy nibble?"

Dolorous strutted over to Amelia, and boldly took a piece and flung it into her mouth. She grimaced as she chewed it.

"God, that's awful!"

"There is NOTHING awful about cheese!" snapped Amelia. The Heversham High girls froze.

"I do hope you aren't trying to poison my girls, Miss Cackle," Miss Pike smirked.

"Certainly not!"

"Thank you," grinned Miss Pike as she snapped a piece for herself. "I'll be watching you." Constance approached Amelia once Miss Pike walked away.

"Excuse me for being forward, Amelia, but is it not unusual for you to be the one offering the cheese?"

"Cheesy nibbles," Amelia corrected.

"Cheesy nibbles."

"Well I would've offered them to our girls, or probably eaten them myself, but they fell on the floor."

"That hasn't stopped you before, Amelia."

"Well they fell on the floor after Davina spilt her bottle of gravy - her grandmother's recipe".

"I know we may have been made a fool of, but I don't think attempted-murder is what any of us had In mind as a means of extracting revenge."

"You don't think…"

Constance shrugged her shoulders.

* * *

><p>"God, those Heversham High girls are so full of it," Enid moaned.<p>

"Yeah," Jadu agreed, "who do they think they are?"

"I mean just look at them with their oranges. Anyone would think water wasn't good enough for them."

"They don't even share bottles. I've a good mind to put something into that water dispenser of theirs."

"Millie, that's brilliant!" Enid exclaimed.

"What?"

"Let's spike their water! But we need something really good?"

"Like what?"

"I've got just the idea."

* * *

><p>"I just can't believe it!" bellowed Amelia.<p>

"Believe what, Miss Cackle?" asked Imogen.

"I left my cream slice back at the academy."

"Oh dear," was her nonchalant reply.

"Nothing to throw at the other team now!" Davina chirped.

Cream slices are for eating, Davina, not for wasting. Now eggs, there's something worth throwing. But cream cakes; oh no! You never stole my cream slices to throw at people, did you, Miss Bat?"

"No."

"Good. But that missing slice from nineteen sixty three is still unaccounted for…"

"I think it was very rude of the police not to instigate a search."

"It doesn't matter. It's dead now."

Davina took her chanting stick out of her hair in homage as Amelia bowed her head.

* * *

><p>"You got the potion?" Mildred enquired.<p>

"Ethel just finished t now."

"Quick then," interjected Maud.

"We have to wait for the right moment," Enid warned, "we don't want Miss Drill going off on one from the start, now do we?"

"I suppose."

"Time!" called Miss Pike. Each team took their place at centre court.

"I want no cheating," warned Miss Pike, "right Cackle's?"

"Unfair!" snapped Enid.

Miss Pike blew her whistle as she flung the ball into the air. Heversham High won it easily.

* * *

><p>"That's not good, is it Constance?"<p>

"No. I'm sure it will turn around soon enough."

"I hope so. After today's escapade, I do think it would be damaging to the Academy's honour if we were to lose."

"Really?" mused Constance.

* * *

><p>Heversham High pummelled the basketball into the basket. The electronic scoreboard read Home 6, Away 0.<p>

"This is ridiculous," gasped Enid, "Mildred, you put that in while I distract them."

"Why me?"

"It was your idea."

Mildred sighed as she grabbed the vial from Enid.

* * *

><p>Mildred and Constance both reached the water dispenser at the same moment, instigating a very awkward stand-off.<p>

"Go on, Mildred."

"No thank you, Miss Hardbroom, you go first."

"No, I insist. You're playing a game."

"And you're a teacher."

"Just do as you're told, Mildred Hubble."

"Is this a trick?"

"Certainly not!"

"I've changed my mind, I'm not thirsty anymore!" Mildred nervously chuckled before running back to the girls.

"Now," grinned Constance as she poured the contents of a vial into the water dispenser. "Hardboom that".

* * *

><p>"Millie!" scolded Enid.<p>

"It's not my fault. Miss Hardbroom wouldn't walk away."

"Oh, for God's sake!" Enid snapped.

"Guys, our play," Ruby called from the other side of the court.

"Your girls are planning something," Miss Pike shot at Constance and Amelia.

"There, there, Miss Pike. There's no need for that. Now how about you have a lovely cheesy nibble?" Amelia smiled, holding up the tray. Miss Pike shrugged a tad, before eating a piece.

"Do enjoy, Miss Pike," Constance grinned smugly.

* * *

><p>Dolorous, who was dribbling the ball down the court easily was looking a little peaky.<p>

"Dolorous?" Debbie worriedly enquired, "is everything alright?"

Dolorous screamed inhumanely as she covered up in a ball on the ground.

"At last!" Davina bellowed, scurrying onto the court, "somebody who understands me!" she cried as she joined Dolorous in a ball on the floor.

"Miss Bat! I insist that you get up at once!"

"No! She's my Izzy from Grey's Anatomy! Cry for me!" she screamed, "Do-do-do-do, do-do-do-do!" she sang in the melody of 'Chasing Cars', "if I lie here! If I just lay here!" she sang.

Constance and Amelia stormed onto the basketball court like an army possessed and seized Davina from the floor, grabbing her arms.

"No, Izzy! You're my friend, Izzy!"

They dragged her off of the court quickly.

"Dolorous?" enquired a concerned Heversham High team mate.

"No! I don't want any cheese nibbles! Get the cheese lady away from me! I don't want cheese! I want freedom!"

"Me too!" screeched Davina as she broke her way back onto the basketball court and jumped up and down excitedly.

"What are you doing?" pontificated Dolorous, returning to her usual state of sanity.

"Dolorous?" Debbie squeaked.

"What? Why have we stopped playing?"

"The cheese monster?" Mildred smiled, speaking softly.

"What? What is wrong with you Cackle's lot? Give me the ball," she ordered as she stormed away angrily.

"Sonia," a frozen Miss Pike muttered, "you get me a water of drinking?" she asked at an andante pace. The student darted away and returned to Miss Pike quickly with it.

* * *

><p>"Amazing," Amelia mused, "the last time I saw anything closely resembling that was the time Miss Bat gave the first years your hallucinogenic potion instead of that cough remedy."<p>

"Indeed, it is most unusual," Constance replied with a guilty grin.

"I don't know how you did that, but I won't have it, I tell you!"

"Ah, Miss Pike," grinned Constance, as she watched Miss Pike drink her water.

"Cheese nibble?" offered Amelia.

"You thank," Miss Pike uttered as she took a piece. Amelia glared as she walked away.

"Of all the nerve! Amelia proclaimed in a husky tone.

"What is it, Miss Cackle?"

"She called me a tank!"

"I think she meant to say th-"

"Excuse me, Constance but nobody calls me a tank and gets away with it," Amelia said, making a hasty exit.

* * *

><p>"Oh, dear."<p>

"Girls, what did I tell you about cheating?"

"It wasn't us, Miss Drill!" Maud snapped.

"Caw! Caw!" a Heversham High student cawed, like a crow as she skipped around the basketball court.

"Caw! Caw!" Davina bellowed as she skipped about, following the student.

"Whoever is responsible for this, I want you to own up."

"Shouldn't we be talking about how to win?" Ethel asked rhetorically.

Enid started coughing manically.

"Are you alright, Enid?"

"W…wa…water," she coughed as she rammed the vial into Mildred's hand.

"Oh, I'll get her some," Mildred volunteered as she quickly strutted over to the water dispenser.

Mildred looked around shiftily before pouring the clear contents of the vial into the water dispenser, the contents of which bubbled like a small earthquake…

_**Hope you enjoyed this. XD I'm ending the chapter here since 1) I can't think of what the second potion can do at the moment and 2) The chapter's getting tad long. =P reviews much appreciated! Thanks for reading! I'll update soon! xD**_


	6. Fireworks

_**Hello! So sorry for the delayed update. To make a long story short, I had school exams which I had to study for/do, then get my University place sorted out, attend two separate orientations and then get settled in (along with reading and updating other fics). I would like to offer a belated - but nonetheless heartfelt - thank you for your reviews thus far. Your ongoing support had been very much appreciated! **_

**Chapter 6:**

**Fireworks**

The match had to be called off. As narrator, I shall relay the events that led to the match's early cancellation:

* * *

><p>"Paint bomb! Paint bomb! It was a paint bomb! We will be your canvas that you can paint on!" sang the Cackle's cheerleaders.<p>

"What is _that _supposed to be?" sneered Dolorous.

"Well," scoffed her team-mate, with her eyes widening before she could even finish her sentence.

"Elly?"

"Oh, God! Oh, Jesus! It's a sparkling vampire! Help!" she screamed as she frantically ran around the court.

"You!" she screamed at Miss Pike, as she broke a chair and picked up a leg. "I saw Buffy the Vampire Slayer and I know that Vampires DO die from a stake through the heart so you're dead, you sparkling little bitch!" she continued manically as she tried to stake her through the heart.

"No!" begged Miss Pike, "I'll do anything! Don't kill me!"

"Anything?"

"Anything…"

* * *

><p>"What's going on over there?" asked Amelia nonchalantly as she and the rest of the staff watched the chaos over the court.<p>

"Some Heversham High girl is trying to put a stake through Miss Pike's heart."

"That's preposterous!" Amelia scoffed, "what a waste of a stake. Has it been cooked well through? You know how I like my stakes Constance."

"No, Miss Cackle. It's-" she began but the headmistress was gone.

"Oh, dear …" she mumbled.

* * *

><p>"Give me that stake!" demanded Amelia as she pushed her way through the gathered crowd. She snapped the 'stake' off of the girl.<p>

"Where's the stake?!" Amelia demanded.

"Miss Cackle …" Miss Pike said breathlessly, "you saved my life."

"I did?" she queried, then, "oh, yes! Sure I did!"

"I think it would be best if we called off this match, don't you?"

"I rather agree, Miss Pike."

* * *

><p>The match was declared a draw, which to be honest, left many of the Cackle's girls pissed, considering they felt that they deserved the win. As a gesture of good will, Heversham High decided to serve the Academy girls dinner. They were all seated around a long table in a fine dining room, large, well-decorated. Each guest and team-mate had a glass of water each while they were waiting for their starter.<p>

"I feel bad now," Mildred sighed, "I didn't know they would be so nice afterwards."

"It's a part of Miss Pike's therapy," Griselda whispered.

"I don't feel bad," asserted Enid, "they only gave us water to drink. They could've made an effort!"

"All the same, I'm glad that you didn't spike the water now, Mildred," Maud smiled, "we'd be in right trouble."

"Why?" she asked guilty.

"Because they got water from the dispenser," Maud added, "oh no, Mildred!"

"I'm sorry!"

"What the hell is going to happen now?!"

They watched as all of the students and staff members began to drink from their glasses.

"Oh, dear."

* * *

><p>The girls' plates remained full, for they could not eat for worry of the imminent events that were about to occur.<p>

"It is very kind of you to offer us dinner, Miss Pike."

She nodded through a very painstaking glance.

"Is anything the matter, Miss Pike?"

"My stomach isn't feeling well," she replied, doubling over on the table, "I think it was those disgusting cheesy nibbles," she added.

"There was NOTHING wrong with my cheesy nibbles!" Amelia shouted, standing up.

"Are you threatening me, Miss Crackle?"

"Cackle, it's Cackle!" she snapped, "and I think Constance was right about calling you Miss Dyke! I've been watching you and you've been staring over at me for the entire match!"

"Get over yourself, Crackle!" she snapped, "I was staring because I couldn't get over how big you are!"

* * *

><p>"I think you've made them delirious," Maud whispered to Mildred<p>

* * *

><p>"Don't you talk to me like that! I'll have you know I am the HEADMISTRESS at Cackle's Academy!"<p>

"And soon-to-be author," Davina cut in.

"Why, what are you writing?" asked Pike.

"Fifty Shades of Cheese," she replied with a proud smile.

"I like cheese!" Miss Pike beamed merrily.

"I love cheese!" Amelia agreed.

"Well I love it more!" Pike snapped.

"Excuse me, surname Cackle. As in 'C' for Cackle and 'C' for cheese."

"And 'C' for-" and her last word was cut off by the noise of pottery falling in the kitchen.

"YOU BITCH!" snapped Davina, "Moo Moo!"

"What's that supposed to mean?" snapped Pike.

"You're a moo-cow!" snapped Davina.

"Coming through!" exclaimed a Heversham High girl, as she practically ran through the room with a HUGE chocolate cake (with a striking resemblance to the one in Matilda).

"What's that?" Amelia asked hypnotically.

"Well," Miss Pike began meekly, "it was a … a thank you for, for saving my life and everything."

"Why, thank you, Miss Pike!" Amelia exclaimed, "it looks beautiful!"

Amelia sat down and was just about to feast into the cake when Miss Pike shoved her face right into it!

Amelia slowly raised her head. She looked like Mrs. Doubtfire after putting on the cream mask by dipping her head into the pie. She was quite literally wearing a mask of chocolate!

"I think we should call a truce, don't you, Miss Pike?"

A pompous grin consumed her face.

* * *

><p>Everybody resumed their dinner.<p>

"Constance?" called Amelia quietly.

"Yes, Headmistress."

"I was wondering if you recall that spell for making one's tongue longer."

"Not you as well! I had Imogen asking me for that earlier! What do you want if for?"

"Well, it would be a shame to let all this chocolate go to waste," she said as she licked the area all around her mouth.

"Oh, dear," Constance mumbled.

"Nevertheless, I would like to address all of our girls. You might attract their attention for me, Constance."

"GIRLS!" screamed Constance, attracting all of their attention.

"Girls, the Academy's honour is at stake. I want to shake up those Heversham girls like there's no tomorrow. Any ideas?"

"Food fight!" Fenella and Griselda exclaimed in unison.

"No girls, I'm too hungry for that. What else?"

"We could put fireworks into their food so the minute the cut it," Enid trailed off with a grin.

"I didn't hear that, Enid," Amelia winked.

* * *

><p>"This looks wonderful!" Miss Pike beamed as she cut into her turkey. Her dinner, along with the rest of the students' exploded in a mass of sparkles and mini-fireworks.<p>

"What on earth!?" Miss Pike exclaimed as a firework in the shape of a basketball chased her around the room. It bounced around after her, spitting fire after her.

"Now that's crackle!" Amelia snapped, her mouth full to capacity, swallowing more food than a black hole.

"Miss Pike!" cried one of the Heversham girls as a firework in the shape of a boot kept following her and trying to kick her up the, as Davina pronounces it, the B-O-T-T-Y.

"I think it's safe to tell you now, Miss Cackle," Enid began, "but Mildred spiked their water!" Enid giggled.

"She what?!"

"I thought we were allowed sabotage them, Miss."

"But I put something in their water too!" Amelia exclaimed.

"Not you as well!" Constance said, shocked.

"You too, H.B.!" Amelia exclaimed, "has anyone else done anything?"

"Just all of these spells."

"The Doctor Foster's Effect!" she and Constance chorused.

* * *

><p>"Imogen," Miss Pike smiled, edging towards her. "Imogen, Imogen, Imogen," she said seductively, walking like a whore over to her.<p>

"Help," Imogen squeaked.

"I think that is what happens when we say 'be careful what you wish for,'" Constance teased.

"My darling, we may be together at last," she grinned, pulling Imogen up from the seat.

"Miss Dy-Pike, I don't think I feel the same. This is totally inappropriate," she continued, "I-"

"Not you, mush!" she exclaimed, pushing Imogen out of the way.

"My darling, nobody will come between us ever again!" she exclaimed, wrapping her arms around Imogen's vacant chair. "Marry me!" she exclaimed, stroking the chair's legs.

"Miss Hardbroom! Miss Cackle! Help me!" Davina cried, as one Heversham High student kept whipping her with her tie.

"Ride horsy! Ride!"

"I'm too sexy for my cat! Too sexy for my cat!" Dolorous sang with a classmate.

"WHAT'S HAPPENING?!" screamed another girl as a gigantic firework formation of the 'Exorcist' girl chased after her, screaming.

"I'm sexy and I know it!" sang Davina as she got up on one of the tables and danced with the Cackle's cheerleaders.

"I'm sexier!" snapped Dolorous.

"No! I'm sexier! The Grand Wizard stood up for me once!"

"What!?" an appalled Amelia exclaimed, "when was this?!"

"I came into the room and he stood up to shake my hand!"

"Oh," she sighed, relieved.

Suddenly Davina jumped down from the table and stole Miss Pike's whistle.

"My whistle!" she exclaimed.

Davina kept blowing it in a shrieking-like register.

"That cost me seventy-eight pounds and twenty six pence on Ebay! Give that back, I won't have it, I tell you!" Pike snapped back.

Davina threw it out of the window!

"Noooooo!" Miss Pike cried as she jumped right out of the window (like Superman) after it.

"Oh, dear. How unfortunate," grinned Amelia.

The calamity continued to grow more severe and more severe as the time passed. Then, suddenly, Miss Pike came in wearing no clothes (for she lost them in the bushes) and was only wearing fig leaves on her chest and … 'those naughty parts' as Davina referred to them. The entire room froze … staring fixedly at her.

"Imogen, control yourself!" Constance exclaimed, covering her eyes.

"I didn't do anything!" Imogen exclaimed in her defence.

"I think this has gone a little too far," Amelia whispered to Constance, "I think it is time we were leaving."

"Yes, quickly before she loses that leaf as well."

* * *

><p>The girls were all safely in the bus (those of them that drank the water were sedated) and the rest were sitting quietly.<p>

"That was some performance," Amelia sighed, "but I am proud of you all, girls. I am very pleased that they know not to mess with Cackle's."

"Yay!" the girls chorused.

"And now for the best part of the night. Supercheese, wasn't it, Enid?"

"Oh, it's closed now, Miss. The dinner made us late."

"Ah," Amelia replied, her eyes going dark.

* * *

><p><strong>Two Weeks Later:<strong>

Miss Pike was polishing her whistle in the front of the bus when a mobile phone rang.

"Heversham High."

"I have put a bomb on the bus," Amelia whispered, "and should you fall beneath twenty miles an hour, BOOM!"

"Like we're going to fall for that, Crackle," she smirked, hanging up.

"What's the matter, Miss Pike?" Dolorous asked.

"Cackle tried to tell us there was a bomb on the bus," she smirked. "Mind the traffic lights, Ross," she said to the bus driver, who began to decelerate and

BOOM!

…

…

…

They were all covered in cheese - Stinking Bishop to be more precise.

A cheese bomb.

"Brilliant, Crackle, brilliant."

**The End**

_**Cheers for all of your support when I was writing this! Very much appreciated! Farewell! :D**_


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